Expect Tropic Thunder with Scattered Bursts of Laughter

Tropic Thunder
Release: 08.13.08
Rated R
1 hour, 47 minutes

Matinee ($$$) <
> Full Price ($$$$)


People say that The Dark Knight was a barrage of advertising for the better part of the last two years. I agree, I saw more than my share of brooding trailers prior to its release. Why aren't people chastising Tropic Thunder for the same excessive marketing? After seeing it, I debated long and hard what sort of impact the trailers had on my opinion. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

If you somehow missed the trailers, the produced, written and directed by Ben Stiller Tropic Thunder stars Robert Downey, Jr (Natural Born Killers), Jack Black (Envy) and Ben Stiller (Zoolander) as three prima donna actors filming a Vietnam war epic based on the amazing true story of vet Four Leaf Tayback (Nick Nolte, U Turn). When first-time helmer Damien Cockburn (Steve Coogan, Hamlet 2) sees his film slipping away, he takes Tayback's advice to dump the cast into the real jungle, and consequently, harm's way, when they are mistaken for D.E.A. agents by the local drug cartel.

After the one-millionth trailer, the cast's special appearances on shows such as The Idol and all the foundless controversary drummed up by the media, I should have been sufficiently brainwashed to embrace Tropic Thunder. My favorite line in the trailers and the film was delivered by Downey's Kirk Lazarus; "Man, just cuz it's a theme song don't make it not true." Hilarious. But is it okay to laugh at Downey in blackface? Some folks who took issue with that were just retarded...or was being retarded the controversy? Stiller's Tugg Speedman character goes all Corky in a movie role and the backlash in both the content of Tropic Thunder and in our media creates more controversy.

I'd like to start my own controversy about Tropic Thunder: where are the women?! Two early August comedies, Step Brothers and Pineapple Express, dropped the ball on providing some much needed estrogen, but at least they had women in their stories. The only women I remember in Tropic Thunder are a verbal reference to Jamie Lee Curtis and a cameo by Christine Taylor. Honestly, who did Christine have to blow to get that role...oh yeah, nevermind. I love Bill Hader, but couldn't he have skipped being in one comedy this year to throw Kristen Wiig a bone? Heck, I would have settled for a "Me so horny. Me love you long time." stereotype if it meant there was some feminity in the depths of the jungle.

Maybe the vaginal absence is part of the brilliant satire of Tropic Thunder; women are so underwritten in films, Stiller & Co. wrote them as nonexistent. I did enjoy the satirical spin on characters like the studio head played hilariously by Tom Cruise (Magnolia). It was ingenious that the lead black actor is portrayed by Downey's hot-head Australian Oscar favorite instead of a credible and accomplished African-American actor. Even Jack Black's drug-addled sad funnyman had moments that were surprisingly funny. Brandon T. Jackson (Roll Bounce), the rapper-turned-actor with his shrewd product placement and Jay Baruchel (Knocked Up) as the fledgling actor living his dream were also well-placed satire, though both needed more screentime while Stiller could have used a great deal less.

Dirty Undies
Tropic Thunder is a cacophany of foul language, blank firing machine guns and ejaculatory pyrotechnics by Cody (Danny R. McBride, Pineapple Express). There are geysers of corn syrup blood and then there's the CGI blood that looks more goofy than gross.

The Money Shot
Tropic Thunder started with an uproarious hootnanny but quickly slipped into unfunny stints and this pattern cycled throughout the film's length. The establishing shots and the classic rock soundtrack set the war epic vibe perfectly. Performances by Downey, Cruise and McConaughey (Frailty) leave the most lasting impressions. Having not seen two of those three stars in the trailers, the trailer ultra-hype killed stunted the hilarity and shock value of Tropic Thunder.

I've noticed a disturbing trend in August; the comedies are becoming marginally improved with each week's releases. At this rate I forecast Rainn Wilson's The Rocker and Anna Faris's House Bunny to be worthy of full price admission, and the release of Disaster Movie and College on the 29th will most likely blow our fucking minds! Then again, maybe not.

One Year Ago Today...

In the immortal words of Tony Toni Tone, "do you know what today is...It's Our Anniversary!" Well, technically, it could be called our birthday. One year ago today, the Reel Whore site had its cherry popped with its very first post. I want to thank all of the visitors who have discovered my little corner of the interweb and double thanks to those who have come time and again. In honor of this special day, I decided to pay tribute to my famous cohorts who share this special day.

Happy 50th, Angela Bassett!

(Like a fine wine, you are)

Happy 23rd, Agnes Bruckner!
(23 will be your year)

Happy 54th, James Cameron!
(We're excited about this one)

Happy 46th, Steve Carell!

(Extreme Awesometicity follows)

Happy 28th, Vanessa Carlton!

(Why is she not rocking the huge venues!?)

Happy 78th, Robert Culp!
(Fingers crossed for the Greatest American Hero movie)

Happy 62nd, Lesley Ann Warren!
(Good to see you working again)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US ALL!

In Memorium

By now, you have heard the disheartening news that we lost two great men last weekend. Bernie Mac passed away Saturday followed by Isaac Hayes Sunday. There's been plenty of blog posts, articles and news specials over the week about their life, but my mind has been mulling the loss of these two creative men all week. Today, I present an especially memorable moment that I loved from each of them.

Bernie Mac
October 5, 1957 -August 9, 2008

--Clip from The Original Kings of Comedy (NSFW)--

Isaac Hayes
August 20, 1942 - August 10, 2008

--Walk on By; music video from Dead Presidents soundtrack--

Gentlemen, you will be missed.

Who's That Lady? - Beth Grant

Welcome stargazers to the second installment of my series Who's That Lady?. Taking a page out of the Blog Cabins playbook, I have given an estrogen infusion to the category of actors with Familiar Faces - Unknown Names. You know who I'm talking about; those women who inspire you to exclaim, "Hey, that's the chick from that other show/movie/video that we watched way back when." If you check out this weekend's limited release Henry Poole Is Here you may find yourself saying...

Who's That Lady?
Beth Grant

A lady of Southern sophistication, Beth Grant was born in Gadsden, Alabama and is a graduate of East Carolina University (North Cakalack Represent!). According to her IMDB page, she is credited with a staggering 123 movies, TV series and other projects sometimes in the role of 'Mother' or 'Woman'. With so many gigs, it's hard to narrow down her three best.

3 Unforgettable Roles
Speed - If I were embroiled in a hostage situation with Keanu Reeves in control and Sandra Bullock driving the bus, I'd probably try to jump to safety given the first opportunity. As Helen, Beth's frazzled nerves and grating screams make you really feel the grave threat the passengers face.

TV: Angel - In the episode Rm w/a Vu, Cordy discovers that her dream apartment is haunted by a nightmarish ghost. The disturbing part is that the sinister spectre is the maniacal mother Maude Pearson. Mrs. Grant coats Maude with her trademark sickly sweet sincerity in a role that will have you inspecting every wall in your home.

Donnie Darko - As parent and teacher Kitty Farmer, Beth shines. I can't explain how awesomely she does this anal retentive role. Let me say she perfectly delivers lines like "If you feel the need to vomit up there, just swallow it" and "Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!"

Honorable Mentions: Mrs. Grant was the uppity pageant judge in Little Miss Sunshine. Chucky beat her to death with a yardstick in Child's Play 2. She mistook helium-inflated sex dolls for the Rapture in the HBO series Six Feet Under.

Saw it, but even I don't remember her in it!
With over a hundred roles in her career I am sure more than one of these performances escaped my attention. Here are a few films I'd check out a second time just to savor her contribution.

Films: Flatliners, A Time to Kill, Lawn Dogs, Rock Star, Flags of Our Fathers, TV: Malcom in the Middle, Love Field

Strict schoolmarm, irritating mother or mother-in-law, holier-than-thou neighbor are all roles Beth Grant has been called upon time and again to play. The reason she has so many credits is because she consistently hits the mark. In addition to her film and television credits, she has appeared in over thirty plays. To find out more about Beth Grant's career and accolades, be sure to check out her IMDB and Wikipedia pages.

I'm not sure if I'll be chomping at the bit to check out Henry Poole Is Here anytime soon. I am sure that when I do get around to watching it, I will enjoy Beth's role immensely.

Trying to Pass Snicklefritz off as Top Bud

Pineapple Express


Release: 08.06.2008
Rated R
1 hour, 51 minutes

Matinee ($$$)




I admit I have never been much for films featuring drug use. Mostly, I avoided the nasty dramatized films that featured sunken-eyed druggies with gaping sores struggling with their addictions. I was always more forgiving for the comedic stoner films. Superbad scribes Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg definitely intrigued me with the concept of mixing off-beat stoner humor with a good 'ol action romp.

The premise is that process server Dale Denton (Seth Rogen, Knocked Up) witnesses a violent murder while on his way to serve Ted Jones (Gary Cole, Office Space). Panicked, he runs to his drug dealer, Saul (James Franco, Spider-Man), and the two go on the lam before they are killed for what they know.

Franco is friggin' awesome as bud-dealin', bud-smokin' Saul. He is goofy, charismatic and fun every minute he is onscreen. Rogen continues to play the self-effacing smart-ass capably. A rising favorite of myself and my wife, Danny R. 'Bust-Ass' McBride (Hot Rod), appears as drug middleman Red, who had us in stitches, and not just because of his ridiculous hi-top fade.

Pineapple Express doesn't struggle in the acting or the stoner comedy aspect; it fails in two other respects. Its first weakness lies in its action. One moment, the action parodies those great cheesy action flicks of my wonder years, but at other times, it plays it straight. I enjoyed the realistic aspects to some of the fights and chases, but felt confused when other scenes emphasized the unbelievable. Perfect examples of this are the would-be hitmen hunting our two dope-smoking protagonists, played by Kevin Corrigan (Superbad) and Chris Robinson (Knocked Up). To make the action pay off, director David Gordon Green (All the Real Girls) really should have picked one path, either parody or serious, and stuck with it.

The second unforgivable weakness is the blatant misuse of the villains, in particular Gary Cole. Any action film worth its weight will balance the protagonists' struggle with the villains' motivations. Cole exudes the smarmy drug kingpin vibe, but his scenes are too few and too brief. His henchwoman, Carol (Rosie Perez, White Men Can't Jump), speaks maybe three complete lines. The result? Pineapple Express has these vapid, awkward moments between weed jokes and action scenes that could have easily been filled with crucial villain development. The final confrontation just lacks....something. Even the Asian mob with whom Cole's character is battling feels like a tagged-on excuse to use Apatow regular Ken Jeong (Knocked Up).

Dirty Undies
Despite dogging out the structure of the action, I have to praise Express for providing excessive bloodshed, gunfire and death. However, I think our duo smokes more joints than villains. There's definitely plenty of vulgar shit-talking and absolutely no sex, unless you get turned on by Rogen in his skidmarked tighty-whiteys. And here I was hoping to see those D's, motherfucker, D's, Rosie Perez!

The Money Shot
Pineapple Express turned out to be the second comedy this month that failed to be hilarious despite having an abundance of Jew fros and man-child humor. The Apatow crew may want to lay off the weed; the smoke might tarnish their shine.

Why I Deserve the Big Bucks, Vol. 1

I came here to critique Pineapple Express, but two articles inflamed my thought process. Knowing I am already way behind in my posts, yet I could not let this stand. I have long believed my calling does not lie in being a government mule, nor does it lie in scrawling out my cheeky opinions of the latest films. I belong on the other side of the silver screen. If I were in charge, here's the direction I'd take on:

I. Universal Acquires Jordan's Wheel of Time: The Wheel of Time series has long been touted as our time's Lord of the Rings. Robert Jordan crafted a mythical world that spans eleven books containing thousands of pages. Jordan died earlier this year, but the twelfth and final installment is still scheduled for release in 2009.

I thoroughly enjoy this series and for years my friends, also fans of the series, balked whenever I expressed how I'd love to see this vivid storytelling onscreen. They all said, "It won't work. It's too long. There's too much detail. There's too many characters." My friends are exactly right. I always thought this would make a poor film series because if the studio wasn't willing to put the money behind it, the effects, and subsequently, the film would suffer. I have long proposed the Wheel of Time series be produced for high-end television viewing a la Showtime or HBO. As an ongoing series, the twelve book story could receive the attention it deserves; all the characters could be featured and better developed than in a feature film. Are you listening, Universal? You may want the next Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter moneymaker, but fantasy fans are picky and you will rue the day that you screw this up.


II. Darren Lynn Bousman Wants a Western Leprechaun Movie: Saw sequel director Bousman is, evidently, as big a fan of Warwick Davis' Leprechaun films as I am. The six-film series is being eyed by Bousman as his next project. His concept is to place the Leprechaun in the Old West via a time-machine plot device and let the fun ensue. A Western Leprechaun film is an intriguing idea, but my long-churning take trumps Mr. Bousman's any day of the week, if I do say so myself.

I'm going to cop out and not give any details of my idea for fear of it being bogarted over the interweb, but it gives Warwick Davis the opportunity to shine with plenty of action, science fiction, romance, magic and, let's not forget, horror. Don't worry, fans; it will not be as painful to watch as Leprechaun 4: In Space but it will be as surprisingly amusing as Leprechaun 3, a.k.a. 'Lep in Vegas.' If Lionsgate gives you the greenlight to direct the seventh installment, Mr. Bousman, tap my idea to re-energize the franchise. Let's just keep Jennifer Aniston away from the time machine lest she tries to put a LA Gear-clad foot up her own ass for being in the first Leprechaun installment.

***

I think that's enough free advice for one night. That's why I deserve the big bucks.

Will Ferrell, Adam McKay, and John C. Reilly...

Step Brothers
Release: 08.01.08
Rated R
1 hour, 35 minutes

Matinee ($$$) <
>Second-Run Seats ($$)


"You gotta fuck one, kill one and marry one, go!" That's just one of the plethora of utterly asinine exclamations from the minds of the three gentlemen pictured above. It's also a question I found myself asking as I pondered my feelings for Step Brothers.

But I digress. If you don't know, Step Brothers is the story of Dale Doback (John C. Reilly, Walk Hard) and Brennan Huff (Will Ferrell, Kicking & Screaming). They are two forty-year-old men (and presumed virgins) whose respective father and mother, played by Richard Jenkins (Say It Isn't So) and Mary Steenburgen (Elf), get hitched. That in itself should be a happy event, except Dale and Brennan still live with their parental units. Now the duo must learn to share the spoiled spotlight. Hijinks and hilarity ensue; at least, that was the plan.

The answer to my question is no contest: fuck John C. Reilly, kill Adam McKay and marry Will Ferrell. Why? I love Reilly and he's almost the marrying type. He's a multi-talented actor of stage and screen. He's given great performances both serious and ridiculous (this one the latter) but let's face it, he's been working his way up the stardom ladder for a long time and is used to a good pounding. Plus, he looks all plush and pliable. He loses the ring to Will Ferrell who, career-wise, is a consistent treat to watch. He can play the hell out of the cowbell and he just looks like a cuddler. I'd kill Adam McKay because I feel he's the Rob Schneider of the partnership. I always thought Chris Kattan was going to ride Ferrell's coattails into adequate stardom, but it's becoming increasingly apparent McKay is the leech.

Anchorman and Talladega Nights were really, really funny...in parts. Step Brothers made me burst into laughter as Reilly described his young-calf machismo and as Ferrell 'tainted' Reilly's drum set. I sat back snickering as the Shake-n-Bake duo tossed ad libbed insults across their shared bedroom. Then I stopped laughing. McKay's SNL writer-director skills surface as he draws out this three-minute skit into an awkward sequence of randomness. Problem is, this concept is threadbare and frayed when stretched over the film's ninety-minute runtime. In fact, when Step Brothers takes on the semblance of a plot in the final act, the stench of SNL randomness pervades its resolution like an onion and ketchup fart.

Dirty Undies
Reilly and Ferrell have a knack for two things in Step Brothers: bruise-inducing physical comedy and Tourrett's-induced exclamations of profanity and vulgarity. Wifey finds it disturbing yet comical when I string together random words like 'vaginal discharge' and 'monkey tits,' but I got nothing on these guys. Reilly's Dale experiences sexual situations that are more disturbing than amusing. Ferrell breaks out the huevos for all to enjoy - hmm, I wonder if flashing those gave him that marrying edge?

The Money Shot
Step Brothers has enough funny moments to make it watchable, but be prepared to suffer through dangling plotlines, sloppy edits, and a cameo from the excruciatingly painful Horatio Sanz (Road Trip) trying to jump the sinking Fallon ship. They do sport some cool retro tees, even if the Star Wars one is overused. Let me close with a quote from Will Ferrell, "In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks." Yeah, take that as you will.